Thursday 15 September 2011

♥ Don't want to let go ♥

Special is the word that describes you.
But I don't understand.
Right now I feel like I am after you.
Can't you understand that I am seeking attention from you.

Well you have rejected me once in a very indirect way.
And right now I am just not willing to take another chance.

I know that I am afraid to lose you.
But I am not sure if it is love.
When I hear you talking about this girl and that girl,
I just wish you would say
" But no one matters when you are there. "


A full stop can continue if we were to put another dot beside.
How I wish our story would continue.

I cannot make up my mind.
I understand that it is annoying when someone can't make up their mind.
But you make me think.
Every time something makes me think.

The only person I have ever felt this way towards is you.
I am the one out of mind now.

No matter how much I express,
my feelings are not expressed.
This feeling is just not describable.

Butterflies when I think of our relationship.
Wanting to hear the three words from you.
Wanting to hold you close yet don't want it to happen.


Maybe its a fear.
A voice in me saying don't.
And another voice saying do.
A feeling of something similar might happen.
A feeling that something might go wrong.

I wish I just never had anything with you.
Maybe a guilt in my heart is going to stay forever.

I may say things such as friend more important.
I don't prioritize you.
I would rather be and bla bla bla.



But the truth is if I prioritize my friends,
Lots of things would be different.
I have this bad habit.
I am not like you.
I think about others before myself.
Ya I am selfish to a certain extent.
I think about myself but I would do things for others,
even when it means i have to lose something.

I am trying to change cause like you said,
No use of thinking of others.


But you are not others, are you?
Well maybe in your eyes you are but to mine you are not.

The best part is I am not comfortable enough with anyone to talk about how i really feel.
No one knows what I feel.
I am not expressive enough.

The most I do is cry to myself,
Or just think about and in my heart
and console myself.

How pathetic.
I just don't want to let go.
But if you don't care,
Then I should not care either.
Or maybe should act like I don't care.
To make myself happy at least. 

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