♥ Wonders ♥

My lips say that I don't care but within my heart I know it for myself that I do very much care about how you feel...

I am not beside you to console you but I do know that if I knew how to make you feel better, I would surely go miles to make you happy...

Your smile does not mean anything to me... I least care about what you think of me... I find you super irritating... I wished you did not exist in my life and my dictionary..

I can say all these to everyone but your smile means the whole world to me and every second I am with you, I just want to know what you think of me... You irritate my life in the most sweetest way and I wished you existed only in my heart...

I am not telling you to love me... I just am in love with you and I am sure that this love would fade away as soon as I find the right one for me... But for now, you are the one that my heart yearns for...

♥ Childhood love story ♥

They are grown ups of age 19 now.
But they have known each other since the day they were born.


They were young and knew nothing about love at that age
.They used to fight for the slightest thing.

Years surely did pass by quick.

By the time you even realise it, they have started to go to school and now they were the best buddies.
They did not go to the same school.
It would not be possible cause both lived in different parts of Singapore.Since the day they were born, both their families always thought that the two would end up with each other, perfect couple to be more specific.

Everyone knew that they shared something more than friendship.

Then comes the age where everyone knows the definition of love.
But obviously not the age to go on a steady or something.
Does not mean they do not have the rights to experience it and feel love.
They both knew that they were in love and that was with each other.
They were not close buds anymore.
They started to talk using their eyes.
They knew how exactly each other felt at every point of time.
How long can they be silent and just use their eyes to talk.


There came the age where everyone wants to have a relationship.

Teenage years.

They both started their secondary school lives.
They started meeting new people and they guy here made a huge mistake.
Just to experience a relationship and fearing to approach the love of his live, he asks out another girl.
He starts to have many other relationships with other girls and hides this from the only childhood love.
Truth can't be hidden for long.
That is when she gets to find out and her heart is broken into a million pieces.
She used to cry every night thinking about how much he changed and about the trust that he broke.
That was when she met this guy and she started to date him.

They are growing older as every year came by but their love never grew old.

How long can this go on?
However she was ready to leave her guy any time just to get together with her childhood love.
Well now they are nineteen.
He is attached with a girl and she loves her truly. They have been together for the past 3 years.
She is attached with the guy she loves the most and now she won't ever leave him for her childhood love. They have been together for 5 years now.

But leaving the fact that they both are not willing to leave their loved ones for each now, they were each other's first and true love. The only thing no one would ever forget in life even after moving on.
The only difference is that now when they see each other, they talk normally, but only people who knows this story would be able to0 see that they both still remember the hurts they have gone through.

Now we know that both of them have relationships.
He gets to find out that she is attached and he breaks down.
The love that he had on her was the only true one that he had.
Both of them basically from then on tried making each other jealous.

Well this is a real childhood love story that I know and to be truthful, this is a story that moved me a lot.
Peace and just spread the love.

♥ Get it right ♥

I was just lying down and having a very long conversation with my sister...

I realised many things after talking to her...

The person I thought was my first love is just a puppy love...

The person I thought was my true love is just another random crush...

Everything was out of curiosity...

 I have realised that my crushes were not crushes but instead they were just considered people I admire...

Crush would be used for someone one step ahead of your admirer...

But one thing I got to know was that I do not love you...

I just admire a few qualities that I see...

When you admire, it is not necessary that it has to be the opposite gender...

You can admire your

• Nithyaa
• Uva Nesh\
• Rangenii
• Pooja
• Vishalini
• Vinodthini
• Daddy Love
• Dashinii Sistaa
• Dashvinii Sistaa
• Nandinii Love
• Surren & Suryaa Love
• Divya
• Raj
• Saravanan
• Eshwarii
• MahaaLakshimii
• Prabbuu
• Fredrick
• Dinesh

Basically anyone...

So to phrase what I am trying to say in simple words,
All this while I have thought that my crushes were my first and true love...
And I have been thinking that my admirers were my crushes...

Muahahahahahahas
♥♥♥

♥ Awkward ♥

It is just so awkward.

Every relationship no matter what, has to come to an end.

Even the relationship you share with you family members.

If the bond with your family itself can be broken, than what is friendship afterall?

Friendship is a bond shared by people from different worlds.

The different worlds can fall apart easily.

They might have been friends for a very long time.

Sometimes it does not matter how long you have known a person.

It is about who stood beside you when you really needed them.

In my case, I can clearly see that even though I might have been close to you for so many years,

you sure were not there when I needed you.

It seems like you do not need me in your wonderful world anymore.

You have new friends and a new exciting life where you keep meeting new people.

Sometimes you tend to forget your old friends when you get new one.

True friends are those who do not forget.

I learnt that all this while my heart has been telling me the wrong thing.

I was so wrong about you.

The fact that I thought you were a true friend was a fact was a myth.

I feel very down but do not worry my dear "friend".

I will get over you soon.

Since I have known the truth now, it won't be that hard now.

   You do not think that I am still holding on to you , do you?

   Just get a life or at least know how to hold on to at least the life you are having now.

Just learn something.

♥ Missing You ♥

You might be far away in distance but you are always close to my heart...

You are one person I could never hate no matter what...

No matter how much you scold me, I will never have the heart to scold you back...

Some people are just different...

I might not be as close to you as I was earlier...

But everyday in my heart you get closer until now there is no more to get closer to...

Suriya is missed so badly...

Not the trip alone is making me miss you but since a ling time, I have been missing alot of things...

Destiny changes how two people are bonded together...

It made you and me...

2 complete strangers to meet and get close...

The same destiny made us apart but it can never seperate us...

Or maybe it was just destined to be such...

I love you alot and you are one soul who can never be replaced no matter what...

Your phone call and message from malaysia meant alot to me...

I do not know who you sent the messages to...

But the fact that I was included just makes me so happy...

There comes the big smile on my face...

 ♥♥♥♥

♥ Who am I ♥

I am not myself anymore.
Then who am I?

I have lost myself completely.
Its like I am trying to be someone else.

But I am not.
What happened to me?
Maybe I need some time alone to know myself.

No one knows me better than myself.
And now myself have lost it.
I have lost it all.

I just wish a hole appears infront of me.
I can jump in and disappear forever.

I am losing everything I have.
There is no one but myself to help me.

I need someone.
I want to cry out loud.
But I can't cry out with anyone but myself.

Arghh I hate feeling...

♥ So Far ♥

Understanding you is just so hard.
You are keep changing your words.
Once you said you are committed.
And now you say you are not.

I don't know whats going on in your mind.
But I just feel like I am being used.

Sometimes I just can't help it but the feelings just comes.

I don't even know if now you are still the same.
It is my fault that I rushed into things.
I don't know how to make my wrong choices into right ones.